The Recipe For Failure

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

— Winston Churchill

I recently had a very thought provoking conversation with a wise and intuitive friend of mine about success, the fear of success, and failure.  We get the most benefit from thought provoking conversations when we actually take time to think about what was discussed and open ourselves up to the guidance of our Inner Teacher.

Knowing as much, I have spent the better part of two days looking back on the cycles of my life and asking myself what I have learned, thus far, about success and failure.  The bullet point summary of what I now realize about myself, in this regard, is as follows:

• I know what it takes to succeed.  I’ve cooked that dish more than once.
• I am not afraid of success, and I never have been afraid of success;
• I was afraid of failure for many years;
• And it was a fear that previously contaminated my view of success.  
• As such, the true value of any given success was lost, which caused me to push myself past the point of my limitations.
• That is a scenario I have no desire to repeat.

Given the lofty goals I’ve set for the coming year, it is now time for that all of that fear to be fully dissolved.  In the past, my modus operandi was to just lean my head into my goals and charge forward, telling myself all along that failure was not an option.  The successes usually out-numbered the failures, which kept me going in the direction I believed I was “supposed to go.”  When I did fail, I fell down, cried, picked myself back up, cried, dusted off the residue of shame and kept on going (usually in the same direction).  But, eventually, the price I paid for that particular M.O. was more than my mind, body, and spirit could afford.

Thankfully, I have been given a second chance at Life; and a new approach is in order, this time around.

It has been my experience that the best way to set about solving any problem is to dissect its key components and then address each component separately and directly (i.e., eat that elephant one bite at a time).  This is what I plan to do to dissolve any fear of failure, as I go about the business of striving for success in the future.

Success means something different to me today than it did 3 years ago; but I am still a firm believer that goals are important.  Without goals, we become stagnant.  And I have no intention of living a life of stagnation.  As such, the plan is to reach my goals for 2013 without sacrificing one bit of my hard earned happiness, or doing any further damage to my body, in the process.  And I will do it, one next right step after another.

For now, I have decided to share with you a condensed version of what arose out of my self-inventory, as it relates to failure and the fear of failure.  I wanted to give you something you might find useful in your own journey of healing, happiness, and self-realization.  And this is what I came up with.

I hope you find the use of satire a little entertaining and a lot thought provoking.

THE RECIPE FOR FAILURE

Photo by Gerben van Erkelens

Ingredients:

1 pound of Pride;

4 cups of Expectations (it’s best to use Expectations of Others);

2 cups of Good Intentions;

2 cups of Emotion Devoid of Reason (Unbridled Passion works best; but Blind Obsession is a good substitute);

1 cup of Unnecessary Distractions (any brand will do);

1 tbsp. of Fear of Embarrassment (this ingredient is optional; but, if you have it on hand, it does give the Pride more flavor); and

Repressed Pain & Anger (as Needed).

Instructions:

Place the Pride and Expectations in a large, Important Goals pot and turn the stove on.

Using your thoughts and feelings, repeatedly stir the Expectations and Pride, until the two ingredients are melted and combined completely.

Add 1 cup of Good Intentions and stir.  (It is important to only add the first cup of Good Intentions initially.  You’ll be adding the rest of the Good Intentions later, as the Failure cooks.)

Add Emotion Devoid of Reason and stir vigorously.

Heat mixture thoroughly until stress levels reach 300 degrees F. (If you do not have a stress thermometer, just keep heating the mixture until anxiety levels begin to disrupt sleep on a regular basis and all efforts to relax become futile.)

If you have any trouble keeping the temperature high enough, add the Repressed Pain & Anger, as needed.  That will turn the heat up, quite nicely.

Taste the mixture to determine whether Pride is still holding its flavor.  If available, add in Fear of Embarrassment for extra seasoning.

When mixture reaches its boiling point, add Unnecessary Distractions and more Good Intentions. (You may start to notice Red Flags floating around the surface.  Just ignore these.  They are either signs that one or more of your Goals needs to be re-evaluated (which is highly unlikely) or that you are pushing Your Limitations a bit too far.  You’ll want to overlook the Red Flags and just keep cooking.)

Continue boiling mixture for an amount of time sufficient for any other goals, your relationships, your leisure activities, and other important aspects of your life (possibly including your health) to begin suffering severely.

Continue cooking mixture until Failure is complete.

Cooking times may vary but results are guaranteed.

© 01/07/13

Posted by Sloan Rawlins on January 8, 2013

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