New Beginnings

“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” 

-Marcus Aurelius

It’s raining in New Mexico.  In the desert, rain is always a welcomed gift.  But I’m particularly happy to see it raining today. The garden has awakened from its long winter’s nap and tiny, colored buds are appearing. They need the nourishing moisture to help them grow — to bring fourth their new life.

This is an interesting time for me because, in many ways, I feel like one of those budding flowers.  For me, the winter has lasted three years – so much of the old dissolving and passing away to make room for new life.

As I have said many times, healing and self-realization are processes.  Even after we learn how to choose happiness, to maintain a positive attitude, and to anchor ourselves in gratitude, there is a cleansing process that must occur – a purification of the soul, so to speak.

Please do not misunderstand me.  When I use the word “purification,” I am not referring to purity in a pious sense.  I am much more of a cast the first stone kind of woman than anything that might be considered pious. Purification of the soul means something more significant to me than conformity with either strict moral codes or dogma.  For me, it has meant facing and letting go of the shackles of unresolved emotional pain, resentment, and self-doubt that had built up deep inside me.  It has meant forgiving others and forgiving myself for everything that gave rise to that pain, resentment, and self-doubt.  I needed to let it go.  It was too heavy for me to carry anymore; and I wanted it out of me.

Forgiveness becomes a lot more palatable concept to digest when we realize that it’s in our own best interest to forgive.  It is the only way to free ourselves from the pain of the past — the pain that burdens our present and inhibits us from creating the futures we most desire to live.

In regard to other people, there was a lot for me to forgive.  I needed to forgive them for what they did, what they did not do, what they could have done . . . and so on.  But, more importantly, I needed to forgive myself for what I did, what I did not do, what I could have done, and, most of all, what I allowed.  I believe that most of my growth and the lightening of my spirit has accompanied those instances when I was finally able to offer forgiveness – to myself and so many others.  There are a couple of people I am still working on forgiving completely; but I am trying.  And forgiveness will eventually take hold, even for them.

Overall, however, I’ve come a very long way in three years.  And, man oh man, does it feel good to be me these days.  The best part is that I am only 43 years old.  I’ve got a whole lot of Life left to live!

Of course, I realize that there is more to do, more to heal, more to learn, and many more ways to grow.  In a sense, I will always be a beginner; and my life now will always be full of new beginnings.  That’s still a little scary, at times. But what a relief it is to enter into the Spring of my life with a grateful heart and excited expectation for what the future holds.

I want to thank each and every one of you for reading and for commenting over this last year.  Your presence in my life has been felt, many times, in many ways.  I am so very grateful for the readership that has steadily built up over the last year.  And “we’re” still growing! Thank you for all the shares, likes, and comments that have made that possible.

The year ahead feels very promising to me, and I am so excited and grateful to be able to share it with you. I’ve got a very good feeling about my body getting stronger this year.  I have a plan for developing a lucrative career that allows me to work around my unique sensitivities.  My book, Taming The Invisible Dragon, is nearly finalized; and I anticipate that it will be released this year.  It has taken me almost two years to write, and a lot of what I have left out here will be revealed in it.  I was compelled to start the book by my need to be heard and to finish it by my desire to help others.  I trust it will end up in the hands of those who are in transition and who can be helped by it.

Also, I will soon be moving into a community I intend to call my home – Taos.  My time on this llama farm turned healing retreat has been incredible, but I’m ready to get into town and become more active in the community.  While I’ve decided to make my “permanent” home in New Mexico (believing the solid ground will be good for me), my heart still belongs to the ocean.  And I plan to visit it often.  In fact, this time next year, it is my intention to finally be pain-free and strong enough to climb that water fall I’ve watched on my Hawaii Island Paradise video about 200 times now.  Two of my closest friends have already committed to going with me and video taping it.  I can’t wait to share that experience with you!

So, my dear and valued readers, we are now entering the next chapter of my life, together.  I say we just let the Glow Flow and see where it goes, one new beginning at a time.

© 04/09/2013

Photos by Sanja Gjenero

Posted by Sloan Rawlins on April 9, 2013

https://tamingtheinvisibledragondotcom.wordpress.com/2013/04/09/new-beginnings/