Looking for the Good

Marja Flick-BuijsIt’s not what you look at that matters.  It’s what you see.

– Henry David Thoreau

There are many explanations for why we humans have a tendency to see the down side, to decide something is too good to be true, to find those bearing gifts suspect. On a very basic level, it is a species specific instinctual behavior to expect the worst. There is a part of our mind/brain that wants us to believe we have only two choices – to be the predator or to be the prey. And nobody wants to be the prey.

As such, there is a part of each of us that feels compelled to look at every situation, every circumstance, and, too often, every person as a potential threat. We look back on our past experiences and we find it easy to convince ourselves that there is good reason to be leery, to expect negative outcomes, to believe that other people and, even Life itself, are out to get us.  We often find it difficult to remember the times when everything fell into place just right, when other people were there to help us and encourage us in difficult times, when we were triumphant and magnificent in the moment, when our experience of Life was not only good but fantastic. It seems so much easier to remember the times when we were hurt, misled, or taken advantage of.

All that being the case, looking for the good . . . in our own experience, in ourselves, and in Life can be challenging (at least, until we make a habit of it). To re-train our brains and open our minds to the possibilities of safety, abundance, goodness, and beauty, we must move past our basic instincts. We must let go of believing that even a moment of vulnerability can be disastrous. We must open our eyes to the potential for good in every situation, every circumstance, and, yes, every person; and we must be willing to see the good when it appears before us.

The good we find, in each other and in Life, is what makes living an adventurous pleasure. It is what allows us to thrive, not just survive.

What I’ve discovered over the years is that looking for the good, seeing the bright side, and believing in beautiful possibilities has not deprived me of anything. Instead, it has added more to my experience of Life than I would have previously believed was possible. I’m quite a bit more sparkly now than I was years ago; but I’m still as strong today as I ever was. I smile and laugh a lot more than I used to; but no one takes unfair advantage of me. I can look into the future and see a rainbow; and I know that I am quite capable of weathering any storm that might proceed it. That is the whole of what experience has taught me – that it is not only okay to look for the good in Life, it is amazing because that is exactly what I find. And I am strong enough, wise enough, and determined enough to deal with anything that might not be good. As such, I am neither predator nor prey. I am simply happy.

Today, I want to encourage you to start looking for good in every direction. Focus more upon what is going right than what might go wrong. Pay more attention to the kindnesses other people offer you, instead of the occasional unpleasant encounter. Be on the lookout for beauty and goodness, and don’t let anything unlovely or antagonistic cloud your vision of it.

Just try looking for the good and allow yourself to see it, when you find it. I promise you that, if you stick with it long enough, it will change both you and your life in significantly wonderful ways. 

Live Free! Be Happy!

© 10/03/2013


Photo by Marja Flick-Buijs

Leave a comment


  1. Yay, I can’t wait to read your book. I love this post. I remember a long time ago I was being mentored by a wise older woman. She was a well-versed in twelve step program. I was telling her that I wasn’t sure I liked some of the things the program taught because I feared being taken advantage of. I told her I refused to become a doormat! She looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Do you think people can use me as a doormat?” I shrunk back a little and said, “No Ma’am.” She had such a peace and resolve about her. I knew then, that what you said is true, I am neither predator nor prey. Thanks, Sloan.

    • What a wonderful story, Lori! Thanks for sharing it. Please let me know if you have any trouble with downloading the free copy of the book on either Friday or Saturday. Love & Light, S

  2. Excellent Post. By the way, as you know, we see the worst in others because we project our unconscious contents (a/k/a the Shadow) upon them. If we will become aware of and take ownership of our own darkness, we won’t need so much to see it reflected by the “other.” Have a wonderful day.

    • Thank you for reading and for your insightful comment, dear friend. It reminds of the book, Owning Your Own Shadow: Understanding the Dark Side of the Psyche, by Robert Johnson. I highly recommend that book to everyone because it explains the Shadow in very understandable terms. By gaining a better understanding of what lies within us on that deeper level, we can begin changing what we are unconsciously attracting into our experience. That subject, however, could take an entire book to discuss. Oh, wait a minute, there is a book that discusses it. 🙂 Have a beautiful evening! Namaste, S

  3. Clairsentient1

     /  October 2, 2013

    Reblogged this on Beacon of Aquarius.

  4. Clairsentient1

     /  October 2, 2013

    Timely as always Sloan..thank you 😀

  5. Excellent post Sloan. I am really enjoying your book and would encourage all your followers to add this one to their collection! 🙂

    • LuAnn, I’m so glad you’re enjoying the book! And thank you for sharing as much with others. Have an absolutely beautiful day! Many Blessings, Love & Light, S

  6. Great topic Sloan. Looking for the good, and feeling gratitude for our blessings, is definitely a more enjoyable, way to live! 🙂

  7. Indeed, Cathie! Hope ALL is wonderfully well with you! Namaste, S

  8. Great subject Sloan. It has really changed my life to look for the good and not focus on what could go wrong or to judge others. Always a work in progress but my life is so much better. I got so much from your book as well.. I just want to say if your readers like what you write here the wisdom shared in the book will also be enjoyed by them. Everyone should read it..

    • Shauna, you’re an Angel! Thank you so much for sharing your experience and how you feel about the book. I sincerely appreciate it! Much Love, Sloan


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: