The truth about your destiny

olRpBgI“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” 

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Last week, one of my friends on Twitter sent a message to me and Eric Earle (a radio host) concerning destiny. The question asked whether we believed it is possible to “be more powerful than destiny” or to “not be defeated by destiny.” Since I’ve spent many years contemplating the meaning of purpose and destiny, I responded rather quickly. And, today, I’d like to expand upon the view I shared.

To believe our destinies are defined by anything or anyone other than ourselves is to say that our fates are predetermined and unchangeable. This belief system is a remnant of the 17th century philosophy of determinism. Determinism is defined as a doctrine premised upon the belief that “all events, including human action, are ultimately determined by causes external to the will.” In other words, determinism holds that, in the matter of destiny, we have no choice in the matter.

If you believe in determinism, you must necessarily believe there is no such thing as free will. You must accept that we are all just puppets on a string. If you do not believe in the existence of free will, my “truth” about destiny will not be your truth. And you can stop reading now.

Let me share with you what Life has taught me about destiny and free will. I was born into a broken and violent home. My mother left when I was two. If she had taken my father with her, I could have avoided over a decade of physical, sexual, and psychological abuse. But she didn’t. Thankfully, I was eventually placed in foster care at age 13. Yes, all of those experiences were difficult. And they created wounds and challenges that, at times, seemed insurmountable; so much so that I did give up, at one point. Did they, however, determine the kind of woman I would become? Did they create a fate that cannot be changed? Did they define my destiny? Not just no, but hell no.

I went to college and graduated magna cum laude. I attended law school and finished at the top of my class. I loved my own child and protected her from all forms of abuse. And I never went to prison. Statistically, I am an anomaly.

Although I have faced many challenges in my life, including the ones related to the events of the last 5 years, I have never believed for a single moment that my fate was sealed. And, despite the challenges I still face today, I refuse to accept it now. I absolutely believe in the existence of free will. And, over the course of the last 5 years, I have come to understand just how powerful free will can be.

Free Will is the tool with which we shape our own destinies, and we must learn to use it wisely. Therein lies the real challenge of our humanity. And those are the lessons I have been learning myself and sharing with you.

We were all given the means by which we can actively co-create the circumstances of our lives. We were each given the ability to decide who we will be and to determine what we will do with what we become. Your destiny is defined by you and you alone. It is the sum of all your choices, and it is ever unfolding. What will you make of it?

Contemplate that question for a while, and I can assure you it will alter your entire perspective on Life and living.

Once we realize the door can only be locked from the inside, it changes everything.

Live Free! Be Happy!

© 01/08/2014

All rights reserved.

Photo by Sanja Gjenero

Leave a comment


  1. Bravo Sloan. I love the way you share your wisdom, they way you are so clear and speak such truth.. Loved this post.. Magnificent..

  2. This is very powerful. Thank you, Sloan.

  3. Del

     /  January 8, 2014

    D#&% straight. Reading this makes me smell those breakfast taco’s. Proud of yoy and love you.

    • Excuse me, I had to pick myself up off the floor. Look at you, Mr. Technology, now! 🙂 I love you too Del, and I’m so excited about seeing you this spring. We need to get breakfast tacos and “biscuits from hell” while I’m there. S

  4. Professions for PEACE

     /  January 8, 2014

    Oh my goodness, Sloan! This is one of the most beautiful and inspiring pieces of writing I’ve ever read. Thank you!!! Here’s to being an anomaly! Hooray! I love the ‘Not just no, but hell no!’. I agree with all of this. I myself have overcome a long list of tragic circumstances and events in my youth and throughout my life, and no – I haven’t been to prison. 😉 I choose to create my own life, carve my own destiny.
    Bless your shining heart for the wisdom you share here with us all. It’s about time I order your book so that I can enjoy your wise words in my life without even having to turn on the computer. 😀
    With deep love and gratitude, your admiring friend, Gina

    • Thank you, Sweet Gina! You’re such a beautiful soul and an inspiration to so many, including me. Thank you for being You! Namaste my friend, namaste. S

  5. Sloan. wow. you are an incredible writer with incredible stories.

    You have a story to tell. It’s one people want to hear. And you can tell it well. That is powerful.

    You are just absolutely incredible and inspiring in so many ways!! thank you!!

    • Thank you, Eric! You are very kind. I love this, my life-work. And I plan to do much more of it in the coming years. I appreciate your encouraging support. Have a beautiful evening! Love & Light, S

  6. Does your site have a contact page? I’m having trouble locating it but, I’d like to send you an e-mail.
    I’ve got some recommendations for your blog you might be interested in hearing.
    Either way, great blog and I look forward to seeing it develop over time.

    • My email address is That information is on my gravatar, but I’m sorry it wasn’t easier for you to find. Maybe, I’ll add a contact widget after I get the site moved tomorrow. Have a wonderful evening, and thanks for reading! Sloan


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